is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
