New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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