Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
