Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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