Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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