i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
