he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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