Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
