Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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