i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
