dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
