Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
