I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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