i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
