just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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