Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
