So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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