youre lurking in front of me
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
