I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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