Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
