I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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