4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
