This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
