i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
