god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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