I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
