I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
