awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
