I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
