but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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