Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
