Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
