I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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