She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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