you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
