I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
