i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
The power of my boobs compel you
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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