I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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