HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
