I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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