she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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