If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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