He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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