im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
