just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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