U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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