Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She's the barista slut.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
