I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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