i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
