I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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