I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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