So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My dick has a subreddit
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
