I just gift wrapped bread.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
