I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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