i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
