i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
