i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
