This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
