his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We need to get me chipped asap
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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