real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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