Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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