I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Damn victory sex feels great
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
